“You’re too old for graphic t-shirts,” she said right before she stabbed me in my goddamn heart. Okay, so the second part isn’t true, but the quote certainly is. Those venomous words spewed from the mouth of my beloved fiancee as we were blowing off some consumer steam after several months (weeks) of diligent, responsible, debt reduction. She had some extra cash and I just received my tax return, so we were both updating our desperately outdated wardrobes. And by “our” I mean “my” because her wardrobe turns over more frequently than the dealer’s cards at a blackjack table.
I was naturally drawn to the graphic tees. I’m a t-shirt guy. At nearly thirty-two, I think I’m in the prime “wear-whatever-the-hell-I-want” years of my life. And like any true red-blooded American I want to plaster myself with the brand names of the stuff I wasted all of that money I didn’t have on. Or the stuff that I WANTED to waste my not-money on but still couldn’t afford. I also feel that graphic t-shirts give you the opportunity to display just who you are. I have NASA, a Millenium Falcon, and Sriracha shirts that frequently adorn my torso and I was looking to add some more stuff to round out my collection.
I’m going to bullet-point that last paragraph for irony’s sake:
- Graphic T-shirts
- Red-blooded American
- Stuff I Want
That brings me to Commie Pinko. They came up with a really neat idea for beer shirts. Their concept is to take the designs from vintage Czechoslovakian beer mats, bottle labels, and other bar detritus, and to transfer those images onto shirts, phone cases, etc. Here’s the part where I admit that I own none of their things (see responsible debt-reduction period mentioned above) but that hasn’t stopped me from ceaselessly clicking through their ever-expanding gallery of shirts. The drawbacks: The shirts are on the pricey side (anywhere from $27-$37/shirt), and you have no guarantee that the shirt you’re buying doesn’t say “Penis” in Czech (unless, of course, you speak Czech). If you’re okay with both of those potential pitfalls then this is a surefire way to make your beer geek friends jealous of your beer-holding-monkey-shirt-with-Czech-writing-on-it shirt. All I can report as to the quality is what I’ve read in reviews (overwhelmingly positive) because, again, I don’t own one of these shirts *cough* sendmeashirt *cough*. If you’re looking for a gift for the beer geek in your life, or if you are the beer geek in your life and need a new shirt, I’d recommend at least perusing the selection here. I’d recommend it more if they sent me a free shirt. This shirt. In Palace Blue, size medium (unless they run snug and then size large). But beggars can’t be choosers. Unless they can be, in which case, again, this shirt.